Asking a girl out on a date is perhaps the most important scenario you’ll want to master. If you master this, she could become the greatest thing to ever cross into your TV-watching, sports-obsessed, beer-drinking, repetitive-night-on-the-town-with-the-guys, never-ending bachelor lifestyle.
Here are 4 ways to get it right:
1. Look At Yourself (Inside & Out) First
Are you emotionally balanced? In other words, are you in a place mentally that supports a healthy relationship?
If you’re dealing with any kind of psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse or low self-esteem, please don’t proceed further and draw a lady in.
It really isn’t fair to her and will only make your chances nil at best. Do what you need to do to get yourself right. The last thing any woman wants is a man with mental baggage, so think about this before approaching a woman for a date.
Are you physically OK? Are there any medical conditions that could hinder your ability to date openly and freely? Women are looking for guys who they can dance, exercise and go on walks with. And yes, sex will eventually become a huge issue if you aren’t up to par.
This said, do yourself a favor and get into shape. You don’t have to live at the gym, but at least become healthy and do what you can to make yourself as attractive as possible.
Update your wardrobe if financially able. Have yourself professionally groomed. This will increase your chances of her saying yes when the time arrives to ask her out.
2. Take Your Time, But Not Too Much Time
If you’re wanting to ask a girl out in a public place, at work, school or in a social setting with friends, don’t rush. If she’s sitting at a table, around a bonfire on the beach or inside a local bar, look for her to acknowledge you with slight eye contact, a subtle smile or even a turn in your direction.
This is what’s called gauging interest. Give it a few minutes, and if she continues, then congratulations — you’re on the right path.
Now don’t confuse her kindness with attraction. She could just be a friendly person, which is why you shouldn’t run across the room like a wild steer. Let the moments linger for a few, and if she keeps things going, it’s time to talk etiquette and game.
3. Be Confident, And Read Her Body Language
First, are you ready mentally and physically to proceed? Check. Have you been lucky enough to make positive contact, maybe even speak with her casually like at work or in a group setting with friends? Good.
So there she is. Sitting across the room, waiting.
First, I have some ground rules as you make your approach:
- Do not stare at the ground while walking toward her or talking to her.
- Do not cross your legs or arms, slump your shoulders, fidget, hand comb your hair, blink more than normal or speak extra softly and in a high pitch.
This will tell her you’re nervous and lacking confidence, and confidence is a hugekey to dating success.
Do keep your chin up and maintain eye contact with her, gaze forward and not to the side, keep your shoulders back and squared with chest high and always remain focused on her. A girl doesn’t ever want to feel like she’s second place.
Is she smiling after making contact? Does she touch you at the beginning? These are great indicators she’s happy you’ve shown her interest.
After all, a woman’s smile, eyes and body movements can reveal a lot about her feelings.
4. Focus On the Details Of The Conversation
Humor is a great ice breaker, and if you can make a woman laugh, you’re halfway home. Be funny, but don’t overdo it.
Again, women love a guy who sees things lightheartedly. Just don’t try being the next Robin Williams or Jerry Lewis — constant jokes can become annoying.
Remember this is all about her, not you. Try and discuss her likes and dislikes, hercareer and what really makes her tick. Does she like sushi or barbecue? Elvis or The Beatles? Sports or reading the latest bestseller? Prefer the indoors as opposed to being outside?
These are things to discuss before popping the big question because you might find she isn’t your type at all. If she is, go ahead and casually ask her out. However, don’t go overboard by promising a trip to Aspen or tickets to a formal opera.
Be subtle at first, and ask her to do something based on information she’s given you so far. For example, if she likes being outside and loves barbecue, suggest dinner overlooking a lake where the best ribs in town are served. Just doing this will tell her you’re a good listener and you want to please her.
Every scenario is different when it comes to asking a girl for a date, but almost always using the information above and some natural principles will help your chances when the situation arises.
Remember women everywhere are wanting you to ask them out, so don’t be shy. The one of your dreams could be sitting right next to you.